How would you get away with murder?

How would you get away with murder?

Due to the fact that I couldn’t do a dream journal, I decided that I would go to people I know and ask them how they would get away with murder. I hope this will help me gets some ideas on what to do with my project. I expect that there will be some pretty good answers as the people in my class are quite intelligent. 

Carl Doherty

How would you kill them?

C: I’d stab them with a knife in the jugular and then twist it. I’d also watch the blood pour out and ripple onto the floor and watch the life fade out-

L: Are you okay?

C: I’d then say “you deserve this.”

L: Next question.

What would you do with the body?

C: I would drag the corpse across the floor, making sure I can see the blood behind –

L: How would you get away with it?

C: I’d first chop it into pieces. Like cube sized and then drop them in a blender.

L: I’m detecting you’re not taking this seriously.

C: I’d then return to my basement, descending down the stairs all the while hearing the shrill and muffled screams from beneath. And when they cry for help…I say no.

L: You’d probably get caught you know?

This would definitely not work. 

Taliah Lamont

How would you kill them?

T: Do they live near me?

L: Sure.

-5 minute interruption from Carl –

L: Actually the person you’re killing is Carl.

T: Okay. I take it Carl has weird midnight walks through the woods, All I’d have to do is ambush him there.

L: What would you ambush him with?

T: Chloroform rag.  

-More interruptions from Carl-

T: Wearing latex gloves with leather gloves on top. I have short hair anyway so I wouldn’t have to worry about them finding hair anyway unless I got into a fight with Carl. I’d never get into a fight with Carl though because he’s tall and lanky.

-More interruptions. L screams. -  

T: I’d wear men’s running shoes and everything I use for the murder I’d keep in a backpack. Or I’d tie him up and curb stomp him into the rocks.

How would you get rid of the body?

T: I’d wash the blood of the rocks. Cut open his belly and fill it with rocks. The ones he smashed his head on. Tie a bunch of cinder blocks to his feet and throw him into the river along with the stuff I used. Oh and I’m gonna dress like a dude chav so from a distance I just straight out look like a dude chav in a big coat then no one will think to look for a tiny girl.

L: That was stupid. You’re very stupid. All of you are stupid. 

Chloe McCann

How would you kill them?

C: Do I have to do this?

L: Yes. Get over here and do the interview.

C: IIIII…have no idea.

L: Thanks Chloe.

C: Well I’d fire up my death ray and then shoot them at close range with the Death ray. I’d then throw my head back and laugh like an anime villain.

L: Chloe you’re a failure.

I’m beginning to regret doing this. 

Peter X

L: Why can’t I write your real name?

P: I’ll get into trouble with the authorities.

How would you kill them?

-Taliah interrupts asking about name. –

P: Who am I killing?

L: Carl.

P: I think…we’d have to….his dragon(software Carl uses to do work) will take over his brain….and I will have….How did I do it?...I increased the voltage….and fried his brain.

L: That’s actually the smartest one so far.

Carl: How is it?

L: Because all yours were CENSORED

How would you hide the body?

P: I wouldn’t. I’d leave it in plain sight.

L: You’d be arrested in seconds.

P: Nobody would know! Nobody would realise! 

Robert Bartle

How would you kill Carl?

Carl: Why am I the target?

L: Because you’re a pickle CENSORED!

R: I-

-Constant interruptions-

R: Cut him up limb from limb using a plasma cutter until there’s nothing left then shoot the rest of his body with a javelin gun.

-L leaves the room in a rage. He comes back later half drunk and unable to stand- 

Amy Midgley

L: Your go.

A: I’d get them to trust me with cookies and then one day poison them. I’d then make cookies out of the body and feed them to the police.

L: This has been the best one so far and that’s CENSORED sad. 

Luke Duckworth

How would I kill them?

L: I’d first stab them with an icicle. I’d then leave the weapon to melt while I put the corpse into a plastic tub and filled it with Hydrochloric acid to melt the body. I’d then pour the mess into a sewer and immediately leave the country.

T: Oh. Nice one.

Conclusion

Everybody in class is an idiot and I hate them.